I feel like I've lost a little bit of my writing groove in this whole MFA application process. My mind has been consumed with thoughts and ideas of moving and what September will bring for my life. I've also been consumed with worry about my actual ability. Not my writing ability--but my reading ability. I'm starting to worry that I'm not a very good reader. I read a lot. A lot of popular fiction, but very few classics or more literary-like pieces. I've read for pleasure for so long, it seems like it may be hard to switch to a more analytical mind. It'll be hard to slow down too. I hope to strengthen that ability by buying books--mainly short story collections and the novels/collections by the two fiction faculty at UNH--and reading them--slowly. I started two books this weekend: "Reading Like a Writer" by Francine Prose and a collection of short stories by former students from top MFA programs. I can't remember the title or the author/editor, but it's nice to read snippets of what's out there.
The world is full of inspiring authors--and only a select few of us will make it. That's pretty daunting to think about.
Anyway, I can't find the writing groove that I had a few months ago. I need to finish the story I'm working on and start preparing my mind for more serious writing, but it's hard to get the story out when I've lost the little writing bug that pushes page after page, chapter after chapter out of my brain.
I feel a bit trapped down by this inability to get the words out.
The only good news is that this writing block has allowed bits and pieces of ideas for short stories to come to me. As a novel writer, I figured it may be hard to find ideas for short stories to write for the program. At least I'll have a small little arsenal of ideas to bank from. Accepting admission was supposed to chill me out a bit, but it only leaves more uncertainty--finding a job, moving, finding a job, moving. It's endless and tiring.
Very tiring. Oh well.