Preparing for the New Semester

School starts in like 12 days and I'm both excited and apprehensive about it. September is not supposed to be a great month for me, according to my horoscope, and yes, I do take the stars seriously. So... we'll see how it goes. It's odd that I likely only have a year of classes left. I could stretch it out through December 2010, if I want, to work on my thesis, but I could be completely done with an MFA by May, if I push it. I doubt that will happen. I've been thinking lately that this has been probably one of the most emotionally draining years of my life. My writing has slowed down to a trickle, compared to what I was producing before I applied for MFA programs. So I guess that's what caused this uncomfortable writing block--MFA application deadlines of December 2007 and January 2008. That's a really long time to not have fun.

Anyway... I'm reading an awesome book right now. I've never seen the movie "Big Fish" adapted from the novel by Daniel Wallace and I only picked up his book "Mr. Sebastian and The Negro Magician" because it had a pretty sweet cover (see right) and the back synopsis sounded cool. Taking such a chance, and literally buying a book for it's cover, I'm happy to say that I'm in love with Wallace's writing style. He has completely captivated me and I'm only about 70 pages in. I even picked up his other novel "Ray in Reverse" today at a used book store. There's something really magical about this book and his writing--puts me in the mood to write, which is a good thing, considering all I've said above.

It's like 90 degrees outside--or 10,000 degrees in my bedroom. I can't stand not having (or using, cause the house I live in has A/C they just don't turn it on until AFTER the house is like 1,000,000 degrees hot) air conditioner. Perhaps I'm spoiled by my Texas ways, where A/C is as important as heating oil. Honestly though... it gets HOT up here. I'm just glad the whole summer isn't like this. I think I can manage a few uncomfortable days, not a whole summer.

To do list before school:

• Prepare "Jesus in a Confederate Flag" for round to submissions
• Prepare "Simple Requests" and possible "Safe Haven" for round one submissions
• Get my eyes checked.
• Buy some good winter boots.
• Write skeletons for two stories (for workshop)
• Plan out 5-6 essays for memoir
• Read, read, read
• Watch as many summer movies as possible
  

Working Up the Kid Inside of Me

It's been a while since I've blogged (nothing new there). Since the last post, I've seen the new Pixar Movie "Up" and I've gotta say that the studio does it again!! While I'm not sure if kids would actually get the full impact of a story about a guy mourning the loss of his beloved (thus honoring her memory with one last adventure), there are plenty of amazing visuals and funny "kid" things (like the colorful bird and talking dogs) that will keep them entertained. The visuals for this movie--like its predecessors Wall-E and Nemo--were amazing. My favorite image was the colorful reflections/shadows of the balloons as they rose up into the air (especially a scene where a little girl is bathed in color as the balloons rise up past her living room window). I didn't see it in 3D (because I'm cheap and they make you pay for the glasses) so I can't attest for that version of the movie. Overall, beautiful movie.

My rating: A

Next up: 1) Angels and Demons, 2) Transformers, 3) Harry Potttttttttttttttttter!

Topic change....

So, I'll be teaching a 6-week writing workshop (for first-generation college students heading to PhD programs) starting next Tuesday and I'm in the middle of preparing for that, but I've made time to get in a lot of reading (mostly young adult). I think I'm reading young adult/teen books now because they're lighter than the literary fiction that I've been cramming my brain with the past 9 months. It's nice to take a break and enjoy something without psychoanalyzing it. The adventures are fun... reading these books is like watching a movie. I'm not saying that some adult fiction isn't this way, because it is. I'm just in a YA kick right now.

I'm currently reading the newest Neil Gaiman YA novel: The Graveyard Book.

I've got to tell ya, it's actually REALLY good. The best YA that I've read so far this summer (see below). There's something about the writing that's a bit spooky, a bit crafty, a bit literary, and there are PICTURES! Haha... I guess my mind really gets a break with illustrations, which is probably why I thumb through picture books when I should be shelving in the children's department at Barnes and Noble.

Here are the other YA books I've read:

• The Percy Jackson and the Olympians (read the last three of the five book series)
• Vampire Academy (three books so far) - These are the first books that I've read where there were major typos... very disappointing. The first book took about 200 pages for me to really get into (the first book is 332pgs). I think I like them better than Twilight though--not that they're better written or anything like that. I'm commenting on the story itself. The editors really need to get their act together with the typo thing... unacceptable.
  
• The first book in the Pendragon series (there are nine total and I'm not sure that I'm going to be reading the rest after book one).

Next in line:

• The Mortal Instrument Series, book 1: City of Bones
• Stoneheart
  
• Maximum Ride: The Angel Experiment

I suppose I'm on a bit of a supernatural/sci fi/fantasy YA kick! Anything to take my poor literary abused mind on a fun adventure.

I'm also reading a few non-fiction books by Geneen Roth and they are completely amazing--perhaps life/habit changing. We shall see... won't get into them to much here.

This is the summer of reading, I suppose. I really should be working on my thesis (outlining it at least) or writing two new short stories to get a jump on next semester or writing a few essays (for the same purpose). But all I want to do is read... so I guess that's what I'll do for a little while longer anyway. If anyone has any YA recommendations, send them my way!

Icing

So today my department held an awards ceremony to honor academic smarties and good writing (poetry, fiction, and non-fiction). I submitted my Jesus in a Confederate Flag story, revised and edited, and I won the Dick Shea Memorial Award for fiction. I won an award. The first award ever for any of my writing. First time to get paid for a story too. :)

I was TOTALLY shocked when she said my name. I wasn't expecting it because of the company my story had. I'm surrounded by a lot of really excellent writers who I'm learning from every single day, I really didn't expect to win, which makes it so rewarding. I'm still a little shocked.

My name being called was a nice end to a crazy semester. :)

First book on the reading list: Richard Russo's "Nobody's Fool"

Smells Intoxicating

I spent my afternoon in Somersworth, NH, with a girl that I met online. She'll attend UNH for non-fiction writing; she wants to write a book on the Tour de France. I'm pretty fortunate to have met so many people before coming to school. Makes this move and big transition less awkward and lonely. We ate pizza at Amatoe's (think Tomatoes), went to Target where I bought myself some fun rain boots, and then headed back to her place. She lives in a converted mill -- what type, I'm not sure. But it's beautiful, especially behind her house where the river runs over huge rocks and the trees have lime green leaves. I could have stood out there forever I think, even in the drizzling rain and cool 61-degree breeze. It's a nice wet day today. Gotta love it.

After dropping her off, I drove back through Dover and stopped at the public library. I haven't been inside a public library in several years. I went to Texas A&M's library all the time, but there's something different about academic libraries. One thing remains the same though... the delicious smell of aged paper. The library is in an old building downtown, the floors creak when you walk, all of the book stacks are metal, and there are narrow staircases that lead down to a restricted area and up to a teen corner. There are plenty of study tables and big windows perfect for watching the rain/snow (perfect for daydreaming). The library seems like a perfect little nook; a place where maybe I could be inspired to actually sit down and write something. I might try that later this week or weekend. I still need to explore Dover, but I'd like to try and crank out something creative this week.

In other news, one of my eight boxes of books/DVDs arrived today. I'm sure they'll slowly start trickling in. I hope so anyway.

One down... billions to go

I finished reading King's "On Writing" Tuesday night. Overall, I thought it was a great book. It definitely held my interest and I feel like there were a few pearls of wisdom in there. I'm not a Stephen King reader, but his memoir almost makes me want to go pick up one of his novels. I'm a wimp when it comes to scary things though--the last thing I'd want are nightmares. But we'll see. A few quotes that stood out to me from the last 80 pages:

"Writing isn't about making money, getting famous, getting dates, getting laid or making friends. It's about enriching the lives of those who read your work, and enriching your own life, as well. It's about getting up, getting well, and getting over. Getting happy, okay? Getting happy."

"The rest of [this book] -- and perhaps the best of it -- is a permission slip: you can, you should, and if you're brave enough to start, you will. Writing is magic, as much the water of life as any other creative art. The water is free. So drink. Drink and be filled up."

I think my writing lapse the past few weeks is from feeling overwhelmed. Overwhelmed by my move and the pressure that I've put on myself to be some great writer. I'm hoping that it'll go away once I finish a task on my ever growing list. We'll see. Like Margosita pointed out, soon I won't have any choice and I'll have to write. Hopefully it won't be crap. One big thing that I did learn from King's book -- and pretty much knew already -- is that I need to be a better reader. I need to make better choices and I need to challenge myself. Now's the time and grad school will definitely force me to do that.

On to movie news:

Saw Hancock. I give it a C+ to B-. I didn't find it totally horrible as some critics made it out to be. However, it could have been a lot better and some of the camera work annoyed me, but other than that it was entertaining. Not as good as Iron Man, not at all. Probably falls in line after the new Incredible Hulk movie, which I'll give a B.

I love summer movies. Next up: Hellboy II: The Golden Army, The Dark Knight, X-Files, The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Warrior, and possibly Meet Dave (if I feel like watching a possibly very stupid Eddy Murphy movie) and Journey to the Center of the Earth. I'll probably see most of these solo since E isn't into any except for the new Batman. That's cool though. I wonder if I should revamp my movie choices as I will my reading choices. Probably not--one sacrifice at a time. I'm not giving up my movies just yet.

I'm glad that "Dirty Dover" has a movie theatre: Spinelli-Strand Theatre. Hopefully it's a good one--I'll be frequenting it a lot, I'm sure.

"On Writing"

First off... happy belated birthday America!

I hope everyone had a great 4th of July weekend. I didn't do a lot really, just sorta lounged around and mixed in a few periodic cleaning bouts. While cleaning, I learned that I still have too much stuff to fit into my Rav-4. I could use another yard sale, probably. It'll work out in the end, I'm sure. Too bad I'm a pack rat. Getting rid of little things is like slicing up my skin sometimes.

Anyway, I spent most of Sunday reading Stephen King's memoir On Writing. I have about 80 pages left, I suppose. I've had this book sitting on my shelves for about 3-4 years now and I never opened it. The pages are even yellowing and it smells delicious. Library like. Love it. I'm sorta shocked that I never really got into it before this weekend. Sure I probably started paragraph one a few times in the past, but I never really sat down and just read and absorbed like I did yesterday. I picked it up after finishing one of those light-fluffy novels that I purchased last week. I was going to start on the second but really wasn't feeling it. So I went into my bedroom and opened the box of packed books--King's was on top so I pulled it out in hope that maybe it would give me a nugget of inspiration, motivation, and desire. Or perhaps pull me out of this self-inflicted funk.

Not sure that it's enticed my desire to create, but I did underline a few things that hit home. I will share them here:

"I was ashamed. I have spent a good many years since--too many, I think--being ashamed about what I write. I think I was forty before I realized that almost every writer of fiction and poetry who has ever published a line has been accused by someone of wasting his or her God-given talent. If you write (or paint or dance or sculpt or sing, I suppose), someone will try to make you feel lousy about it, that's all."

"Good writing is often about letting go of fear and affection. Affectation itself, beginning with the need to define some sorts of writing as 'good' and others sorts as 'bad,' is fearful behavior."

"What would be very wrong, I think, is to turn away from what you know and like (or love, the way I loved those old ECs and black-and-white horror flicks) in favor of things you believe will impress your friends, relatives, and writing-circle colleagues."

I think in a way each of these quotes explains my writer's block (aka: fear). It's all built up on anxiety for September 2 (when school starts). That may be the day that I either realize I'm making a smart choice in going to school for my MFA in fiction, or I've used school as an excuse to escape the hell I've willingly put myself in for the past several years and nothing more. I'm praying for the former, but part of me really believes in the latter. I ask myself: Tanya, if you hadn't gotten into school, would you have really tried to find a new job? Answer: I really don't know! Probably not. Complacency is easier sometimes.

Anyway, random bits:

• My lovely sister starts her new job in Washington D.C. today. She kicks ass.
• I really don't want to sell my TV and buy a new one (at around $500+ for a nice one). King writes about TV watching in his memoir. Basically, he says to get rid of it. Eeek! Maybe it's okay though, TV doesn't distract me too much when I'm writing.
• I've had a ding in my car door for the past year or so that's now rusted. Estimate to fix it: $400. Lesson learned: QUIT PUTTING THINGS OFF FOR TOMORROW!! Will get new estimates before making any kind of decision (that could be good new TV money!).
• I've been at work for 45 minutes already. It'll be a slow death today.
• 24 days in Texas left.
• Today's goal: write something. . . anything. . . just write.

Update: Wrote about 175 words. I guess it's a start.