This weekend I uploaded my first novel in ebook format. It's actually not the first novel I've ever wrote, but it is the first one that I shared with people. And by people, I mean random strangers on the internet who just happened to come across it, read it, and like it. I wrote the first draft in 2006, and then six years later, I pulled it out, edited it and stuck it on the Internet (complete with a few pesky typos). Now... I'm sharing it with not only those first readers, but with people I know. People who might look at me with raised eyebrows and ask: "Whoa, you wrote this crap? Thanks for polluting American literature!"
There's a different level of scariness to this step of self exposure. People you know can be dishonest in order to spare your feelings (thus lying to your face). People you know may be brutally honest. People you know may be disappointed. There's nothing worse that disappointing someone that I know, for whatever reason. So... yeah, this blog post scares me. I feel paranoid and anxious. I don't know why I'm getting so worked up. It's not that I'll ever know if someone in my life purchases the book (or doesn't). That's not really how book sales work. I'm more scared of the people who are like: "HEY, I bought your book!" Instead of imagining that they may really like it, I see them slamming their Nook/Kindle/iPad/etc. shut with a yell of: "What a bunch of poorly written sh*$!"
This will likely happen, at least for a few.
I can't please everyone, but wish that I could.
There's also a level of me thinking: "This book is who I am, what I like to do, the kind of writer I will likely be forever. What if people I care about crap over that.?" But at this point in my life, I'm trying to challeng myself to do things that are a little scary.
With that being said... KILLING MEMORIES (under my pen name: Tatiana Moore) is now available on Kindle and Smashwords.
If you buy it (.99 cents)... don't tell me. Thanks for any and all support!