Today I wrote. I have seven pages and a bit. I'm still climbing. I haven't written a single word since probably December 1. So, progress is being made.
The more I work on this new story, tentatively titled "The Awakening of Tyler Ross", the more I want to turn it into a novel instead of a short story. I know that I shouldn't tie a rope around the muse and strangle her, but... I don't know. Chapters in workshop don't really work out and my chapters won't stand alone (because are those really chapters or just short stories in themselves, tricking readers to believe that they're really chapters?). The more I sit around dreading writing, and the more I tell people that I need to write "for fun" and not "for school", I find myself wondering (as I have been the past four months): am I really where I should be? I think the overall answer to that question is yes. But it's difficult. Writing for fun and for school should be one in the same.
I think what it all comes down to is this: I do not like short stories!
I do not like them Sam I Am!
I don't know that I can get past this dilemma either. Maybe I need to read more of them to understand how they're done. But I do not like reading them either, Sam I Am!
I am a novel writer.
So, I'm in a bit of a funk at the moment--well, let's not kid ourselves, it's been a long-ass funk (approximately 10 months staring when I received my acceptance letter to UNH back in march). I'm writing tonight and I enjoy the story that is unfolding. And you know what... I'm not going to limit this one. I'm just going to let it flow and let it be. And maybe--just maybe--I'll fall back in love again.