Spring Break

I feel like I've slept most of my spring break away. I was hoping to get out of town, but that didn't happen because I lost my cushiony tax refund (long story about back taxes that I didn't realize I owed). I suppose sleep was much needed though--I've been running raw the past several months. Three jobs and full time classes AND socializing with amazing friends really sucks away the time. I didn't have one of my classes for a few weeks back in February and it was blissful! I would love to take only two classes and really devote time to writing (which is why I'm in the program, right?). I could go part-time, but that would mean me giving up what very little funding I received (decisions went out last week and I didn't get anything additional) and as we all know, every little bit counts. Too bad what funding I do have requires full-time status. A friend of mine and her husband have a financial advisor--I'm wondering if I should find one to counsel me (probably just one session). I think I need the reality of my future slapped into my head with a 2-by-4. It's scary having to take on this debt on top of my other education debt and poor money decisions. Part of me wonders if it's really all worth it. It's a stress that really makes me crazy sometimes. Crazy enough to bite a friend's head off, which is not very attractive or fair.

Anyway, I've slept a lot, watched movies, and ate probably too much. I need to read another book before the weekend ends. I've started Holly Black's Ironside: A Modern Day Faery's Tale--maybe I'll try to finish that tonight/tomorrow. It's a pretty quick read.

Today I went to a beach in Maine--York Harbor Beach. It was freezing near the water (wind) but such a beautiful spring day! I've been told that today was the first of spring anyway. A few friends went with me and we hiked up a cliff trail and ate a picnic lunch in the sun. It was completely relaxing, if not cold (about 35 degrees and all I wore was a sweatshirt!). Now I'm getting back into the school work thing to prepare for next week. Blah.

(York Harbor Beach)

(The view from our picnic location)

So there was a boobed lady...

...and I can't get her out of my head for some reason. This old (70?) woman with triple F boobs, singing and dancing. I kept watching this woman, with huge clam-shell pasties over her nipples, wondering... what on earth is this rated. My rating: B. Totally creepy movie--and Neil Gaiman is insanely creative (or maybe it's Henry Selick who wrote the screenplay).

I've Got Monkeys

Yikes. It's almost been a month! I am not too surprised by this though--I've never been really good at journaling, why should blogging be different? I'll try to get back on a roll though. Anyway, to start off my new dedication to the blog-o-sphere, here are some random tidbits from the past month:

• Tom Perrotta (author of Little Children, The Abstinence Teacher, and Election) came to UNH to do a reading. I remember seeing parts of Election and remember the Oscar (right?) buzz around Little Children, but I'd never read any of his work before. He read from The Abstinence Teacher and I decided to buy the book and have him sign it for me. What do I think of him? He's cute as hell. Oh, and a good writer too. I watched Little Children with friends this weekend and I enjoyed that. I'm sure I'll like his books too, whenever I get a chance to read them.
• Today I opened my bedroom windows for the first time in a few months. Fresh air smells amazing--or my room was just funky as hell. I love nature.
• One night I came home around 4:45pm to learn that the people I live with were showing their house at 5:0o or 5:30pm (the same night). I've always known that they expressed some interest in selling this place, but I didn't know they were actively searching. I had to clean my room (it was funky, as stated earlier) SUPER fast. Not sure what's going to happen there, but it's likely that I'll be living elsewhere come summer time.
• Cambridge is not happening. Unless there is some miracle to be had yet. I got a nice chunk of change from my tax refund, which I now have to use to pay back taxes that I didn't even know I had (taxes from 2007). Since I don't want to be a Snipes and because I don't want to have another debt to pay off in chunks, my refund from this year is going bye bye. Therefore, so is my plane ticket to England and spending money. Good bye blissful summer plans, hello shitty-job-of-the-near-future. Being a starving (things are that desperate yet, but they will be soon) artist is not glamorous.
• I haven't done a single thing to work at getting myself published.
  
• School is going well--very busy, as usual. I'm writing about identity in my non-fiction class (or my perceived lack-thereof) and I'm considering a story about a nurse who keeps portions of aborted babies in baby food jars lined up in her closet. I can't decide if I need therapy or not--or maybe I'm just tapping into my Steven King mind. Maybe it's stress. Or maybe it's Seasonal Affect Disorder, which I'm not sure I have or not. I did have another story idea about a man who chops up the body of his dead, obese wife (for reasons I have yet to pinpoint). Maybe my mind is shifting. Don't worry--I have yet to write about any of these things. I'm definitely not crazy. I don't think. But... maybe....
  
• As stated before--today was the first day I could open my windows without turning Tri into a block of ice. It was about 45 degrees. Hello spring time!
  
• My first workshop of the year is on Tuesday. I haven't decided if I'm going to post the story here or not yet. A few people have told me they liked it, so that's always a good sign. I like it a lot--I'm in love with the little boy I created. I also love that I was able to write a story (a love story really) without too many "dark" themes clouding over it. In regard to writing, I think I might know what I want to focus my thesis on. I'm still toying around with several ideas--so we'll see. I need to start revising my work so I can send it out to journals. Fear is suffocating.
• I don't really have monkeys. Sometimes, I feel like there's this odd pressure on my back that makes me walk all hunched over and crushes my lungs. It's probably just the 30 hours I work each week and the 3 classes that I'm enrolled in. Maybe it's the two essays I have due on Wednesday. Maybe the 20-page paper I need to comment on for work. Or losing my tax refund (a meager financial cushion) to income that I haven't seen in two damn years. Or maybe it's finding out that a friend up here (who gives me AMAZING hugs every time I see him) has been hospitalized with blood clots in his chest. Maybe it's the never ending family drama. Maybe it's the fact that control is becoming an issue again. Or that I'm surrounded by winter disease and my hands are becoming dry at the amount of antibacterial gel that I rub into them every two minutes at B&N. Or maybe it's the fact that my "home" really isn't a home and I can't get comfortable. Maybe I just need a break.
• There are six days before Spring Break and I don't know what I want to do. I no longer have a lot of money to do something really fun. I don't know, I'm tempted to go to D.C., but my sister has to work all week. And I'm tempted to just rent a hotel room for a night or two and just be alone. Tanya time. Who knows which one I'll choose.
• My sister got to meet Michelle Obama at work this past week. According to her, Michelle is gorgeous, has really white teeth, and soft hands. I'm jealous. She'll get to meet Obama eventually too--super jealous about that.
• I'm addicted to Harry Potter (now on audio book #5), which I listen to in my car. I don't think I've heard the radio in 3 months. So it's nice to be watching The Goblet of Fire on TV right now.
  
• I'm also addicted to York Peppermint Patties (part of the control issue that I have).

That is all for now. Must get back to the work that's slowly piling up with the monkeys. Hope to blog again soon!

[Amendment]: We're supposed to get 3-5 inches of snow tonight. So much for it being spring.