I am a Chimpanzee

So... I'm trying to get caught up on my reading for all of my classes (must use better time management skills in the future) and even now, as I am supposed to be reading, I have stopped to post on my blog. I get distracted easily I suppose.

Side note: found a room in the library that actually has AC--it's a miracle! The temperatures are dropping finally and some trees are changing colors--will post nice pictures soon.

One of the books that we're reading for my workshop class, John Gardner's "The Art of Fiction", managed to put me off within the first few paragraphs. The books subtitle (if that's what it's called) is: Notes on Craft for Young Writers. The part that really through me off was toward the end of the very first page of the book's preface:

"As matter of fact, most of the books one finds in drugstores, supermarkets, and even small-town public libraries are not well written at all;" -- this part didn't bother me... drum roll please... -- "A smart chimp with a good creative-writing teacher and a real love of sitting around banging a typewriter could have written books vastly more interesting and elegant."

He goes on to say who his audience is: "What is said here, whatever use it may be to others, is said for the elite; that is, for serious literary artists."

Well, at this point, I was so throw off by the chimp comment (I really want to have a t-shirt made up in this regard) that I didn't even want to continue reading. I still don't. I just don't get how a person can so easily dismiss the passion of others. Sure, some people publish stories just for the paycheck and maybe they aren't well written--but to essentially call them chimps, banging away at their keyboards? I don't know, that's really insulting to me. I think it's because I feel like I'm split down the middle--half of me is a serious, literary writer (or at least wants to be) and the other half of me is "capable of writing junk fiction", which requires "an authentic junk mind". So essentially, I am half chimp with a dirty, junky mind. Well crap, no wonder I can't get a man. I know he doesn't say "these people are chimps!" but it seems implied to me. I am certain that most writers who have published books (whether they be good or bad) worked very hard on them, and to be just brushed off and placed below chimps banging on keyboards?! It just doesn't sit well with me.

The rest of the book (I've made it through the first two chapters and have one more to go before tomorrow) take on this tone of snobbery and arrogance that I find so nauseating. I'll read it, because between his higher-than-thou ramblings there are a few gems of wisdom, but I'm certain that I won't enjoy it fully.

Definitely not a book for those with aspirations of mass market paperbacks on dime store shelves--like the fun part of me. So the image on this post is exactly what I feel Gardner should do at this point. Still... lots of chapters left to read, we'll see if I change my mind.

In the Classroom Again

So... I had my first class tonight, English Grammar, which is basically going to prepare me for teaching grammar and becoming a master at it, I'm sure. There are about 30 people in the class, which is a good amount I suppose. I got there a minute or so late (he was going through the class roster, maybe he jumped the gun). I had to walk about six blocks (maybe more) to get there and what greeted me as I walked through the classroom door? A wave of 80-degree, stifling heat. A note to all New Hampshire people: A/C (or fans) are required in the summer! I'm making it a point to sit near open windows. This place is gonna kill me until I get used to the weather.

Anyway, back to grammar... I wasn't really sure how I was going to like the professor. I couldn't understand the first 15 minutes of his lecture because of outside and neighboring noises and the fact that he sorta droned on and on in a monotone voice. Things picked up as we did more class-participation exercises, but still, I wasn't sure. He seems to be fun, as long as he doesn't pick on me. At this point my grammar abilities are remedial (ie: functional) at best. I know what's right (most of the time) but now why it's right.

Random thoughts from the first day of class:

• Parking isn't that bad... as long as I can bypass downtown traffic and leave work/home about 30 minutes before class. We'll see how the weather changes things.


• The classroom was too hot. (Repetitive, I know.)


• Four college text books = $120.


• I hate not being able to pick out my own textbooks. I went downtown to pick them up after class, and the guy behind the counter just handed me a stack of books. Two of my used copies were "heavily" used with writing and highlighting all over them. Other peoples' notes and doodles completely distract me. I like pristine book pages. I don't want to be influenced by others. Highly annoyed, but will manage.


• All college campuses (read: undergrads) look the same no matter where you are in the country. I swear I thought I was in Texas for the amount of tanned, bleach blond girls I saw running around (yes actually running).


• I decided to read grammar over watching Greek on ABC family--I deserve MAJOR kudos people. That show is too cute and I really want to watch it.

That's about all for now. Will post about my D.C. trip tomorrow probably.

Beetlejuice Flashbacks

While driving through Dover a few days ago I noticed a covered bridge, which is a key fixture for most New England states I think. Today I went back to investigate. It's a simple bridge that doesn't really lead anywhere exciting, unless you consider skate parks exciting. I don't. Too bad it didn't end at a nice normal park or something like that. I'll find one that does eventually. Anyway, these bridges always remind me Beetlejuice, a classic 1988 movie and one of my favorites.

I received my first text book in the mail yesterday: The Essential Tales of Chekhov. I've read the introduction and two stories so far and feel a tad bit smarter than I did the other day. I also went to the library and found a book of Flannery O'Connor's stories (another writer who I'll be studying this semester) and read the introduction of that book. Familiarizing myself with these authors before reading their works will be pretty helpful, I hope, in understanding why they wrote what they did. I found myself relating in some ways to O'Connor. I'll probably read more about her online and will buy the second text for that class tomorrow after my first day working at Barnes and Noble (with my 30% book discount). I work the 7:00am to 2:00pm. The 7am thing should be interesting... a shock to the institution of laziness that I've adopted for the past three weeks. Vacations are nice.